Hello

Dead ends. I've been running into those a lot but I thought that this time, I will push through.

I'm slowly approaching my 30s but it doesn't feel anything like it. However, when I started a blog half of my life ago, one thing for certain, my grammar has improved. I have Grammarly installed on my computer and it seemed to disagree with me on something. Oh, it says my writing sounds sad. And informal. Do you agree?

Anyway, I have been wanting to create a new blog for the longest time now but I have had no ideas on what to share until now. Over the years, I have become more and more closed off and disliked the idea of speaking my mind. The thought of people reading too much of what I say or do frightens me so much. I have dealt with a lot of conflict over it and decided it was best to keep to myself because nobody needs to hear from me.

However, I was wrong.

Someone once told me, I am more than a necessity. I absolutely do not understand what it meant but the ups and downs in my life did not begin and end in 2020. Far from it. Thus, words like: "Year 2020 is screwed. Next." actually bothers me. It was said for 2019 and the years before that. Growing up, consuming these words, I realised are poisoning. 

So, I decided: with about 3 months left of 2020, I will look at it as a glass-half-full and invest in myself positively because 2020 isn't great but it isn't the end.

I am going to try a bunch of positive advice from different people and media and make it my lifestyle. Lastly, I want to discard this shell I have created for myself to embrace my true persona. InshaAllah. 

Love,

Ainul. 🌸